Dolphin!

Look at this sweet baby...photo of a dolphin taken by Barrier Island Girl at our beach. Wow. She is one talented photographer who seems to always be at the right place at the right time! Had to share.

You Can Never Have Too Much Butter

...says Julia Child, and, who can argue with that?

I saw Julie and Julia this summer with my three sisters - the first time we had been together in many, many years.

The movie was lovely. I left the theater starving. Here is the movie trailer in case you have not seen it.

This movie along with my love of cooking made me want to know about all things Julia. She was actually a remarkable woman who had a very long and loving marriage. I remember well watching her on PBS in the seventies. PBS has brought back videos of Julia's French Chef episodes you can play on their site. It's lots of fun watching her.

Also, this episode from Saturday Night Live was actually in the movie. Dan Akroyd had us all saying, "save the liver!" in kitchens across America. It's as funny now as it was the first time I saw it in the 1970s. Unfortunately, you have to get through the advertisement. This is the only site that has the clip; but it's worth the short wait.

I Love You Pat Conroy

I am deep into Pat Conroy's new book, South of Broad, and, again, I am practically rendered speechless with each page. His writing is pure craft.

I do not know where he gets his ideas for his characters. They are always unforgettable. I have laughed out loud and cried in the same paragraph. Each chapter is perfection.

If you have never read Pat Conroy, go out at once and get yourself a copy of this magnificent book. I never thought he could top Prince of Tides or Beach Music, my absolute favorites in the world, but he may have proved me wrong.

Today, I appreciate the silence and peace of my home while Liberty is at school until after 3 PM and I am all alone with this delicious book.

Pure bliss!

Turtle Tracks

Check out this amazing photo on our beach of a female turtle's tracks from the sea to lay her eggs in a nest in the sand. I have never in my life seen them. photo by DJ Zemenick

A Nice Twist of Fate

It's been a long, long summer.

Yesterday, I trooped to my son's school in the 100% humidity to meet the teacher and drop off supplies, although there was no teacher to meet since my son's teacher quit right before school started. But, the aides were there and there was a packet for me to pick up.

The school is under construction in some parts; actually it's the old buildings that have been torn down so new ones can go up. The construction was supposed to be finished by the start of school but predictably, it's not. I don't even think they are near finishing which really makes getting in and out of the school difficult.

The parking is so limited, we were asked to park in the field across the street and take the tunnel under the road to get to the school. I knew that Lib walked that tunnel to get to the field for PE and other school events but I had never walked in it myself. Well, it's like a hot, sweaty bomb shelter. It's all plywood floor and peeling paint and dimly lit. Even spookier to think of the cars rushing over the top of our heads on the busy street above.

Liberty had his first meltdown of the summer in that tunnel and I felt like having one myself.

Eventually he calmed down and there was good news awaiting when we finally got to Lib's room. The aides told me that a teacher has been hired, but she is moving here from South Carolina, so Lib will have a substitute teacher for about a week and a half. What's more, they were excited to tell me that her credentials and experience were impressive, perfect for the class, according to them. I also learned that they hired a new PE teacher who happens to be a man, which is great for Lib. They said that PE should be really fun this year. There will be six children in Lib's class instead of four like last year, but the good news is three of them talk. It's still not a bad teacher child ratio when many classes for autism in the bigger city have 13 kids in them.

Next, I got a call from the bus driver and it turns out she is our bus driver from about two years ago we really loved. She is going to be picking up and dropping off: 7:40 and 3:17. Aahh, I feel a little relief coming...

And, I got even more good news yesterday. My sister (aka ace-in-the-hole) called the Center for Autism and Related Disabilities here in town and found out that someone will come to my home and help me do a picture schedule and other things tailored to Lib's needs specifically at home, and that person will further serve as a liaison between home and school to make sure the teacher is on the same page. Now, this floored me because I talked to someone from CARD at least 2-3 years ago, and all they could offer me was materials and supplies for me to make on my own.

It also turns out as well that my sister knows the person who will come to my house personally!

So...a nice turn of events after feeling miserable for the last two or so weeks. And, I knew that while things were falling apart they were probably falling together somewhere else. I know that things usually work out for the best, but I just wish I could be stoic about everything when things are going badly. I wish I could have more faith I guess. It's hard when I'm feeling sick and my back is out which ironically is precisely the time to have faith.

A work in progress, that I am.

Anyway, I feel the tide turning. It's good. I am so ready for school to start and I know Lib is, too. I will probably be out on our curb at 5:00 AM with my binoculars scanning the horizon for a speck of yellow, excitedly jumping up and down in my pajamas.

Oh, but I will miss him, too though. We are so joined at the hip my boy and I. My swim partner. My good little shopper. My sweet, loving child who loves nothing more than to ride in the car with Mom and listen to music.

Ah yes... but the taste of sweet freedom is already upon my tongue! I am so ready for a break.

And, I deserve it.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today marks 50 years that I have been on this planet.

My father sent me these flowers, although the picture does not do them justice.

It's a funny thing but in the weeks before I turned 50 years old today, I had a series of things happen:

1) I got laid off from my job for two months, and actually am still waiting to hear if I will be hired back in October.

2) I got really sick about a week ago and am just now getting over acute sinusitis and bronchitis.

3) I re-injured by back and have been hobbling around or lying around in the house going stir-crazy with a child who is bored beyond imagination.

4) My computer crashed and I lost everything, including over 1,000 pictures, my medical dictionary and the transcription shortcuts that were unique to my work (who knows how many thousand).

5) Liberty's beloved teacher quit. The one sure thing I kept saying I could count on for next year. He might even start school with a subsitute this year. I'm hoping for the best, but it was a blow.

I feel a re-working of my life taking place, like the slate being wiped clean so I can begin again. I'm turning my thoughts to perhaps doing something else now for a living, but what exactly has not yet revealed itself to me.

On another note, one of my birthday presents was Pat Conroy's new book, South of Broad, which I am relishing in a way that only Pat Conroy groupies can. He is my favorite author on this earth and he has not disappointed with this new novel.

Today, I am keeping focused on gratitude for my family and friends, the health I still have, the roof over my head and food on the table. I'm reframing my opinion of my age spots into just friendly freckles that are reminders of all of the wisdom I have gleaned from living. The hint of gray beneath my highlights I am referring to as glitter. And the wrinkles, laugh lines which remind me of all of the occasions I have had to smile (not frown).

I could talk about how Liberty's illness has made my face careworn. Or how exhausted I have been and, therefore, aged before my time. But, suddenly, I don't feel that way anymore. It's been a very long road with my son, and probably a lot more ahead. Instead of sadness, now I feel a kind of satisfaction that I have put forth all of my efforts and energy into helping this child feel better and do better in the world. What cause could be more worthwhile than that? Instead of keeping me from some unfulfilled destiny in life, I see that he was and always has been my destiny. Taking care of him and raising him is part of the ultimate "plan."

So, today, as I turn 50, I am not bemoaning my fate as I thought I might. Instead I am celebrating what is and, even though "what is" others might view as tragic, Life, for me, is still pretty damned good.

Picture This

I'm swimming lazily on my back in the pool. There is no one else in it but me and my son and he is on the other side practicing bouncing on his toes in the 3 1/2 feet section. The cumulus clouds are blinding white against the intense azure of the sky, framed in my view by the tall pines and oaks that surround the pool. The only sounds are the drone of the cicadas and a family of squirrels scampering through the trees. Dragonflies occasionally swoop down for a drink or to light on my toes. I stop swimming and look across the pool at my son who is happily doing the breastroke all on his own. He has a big smile on his face as he blows water through the space in his teeth in one big stream. He is my little otter. "Having fun?," I ask as I get out and towel off . I spray sunscreen all over my body and set the lounge chair to the reclined position and relax, a word that has been foreign to me until now.

I see we have been swimming for 2 hours. Lib had his last swim lesson of the summer this morning, in which he learned to go in the deep end to swim, and to jump from the side. A sudden and loud crack of rumbling thunder causes me to jump. I look up and see the clouds have morphed into huge billowing towers of puffy white thunderheads. I like to imagine as I look at them that I can actually hear them blow up, like the swoosh of hot air balloons. We are heading toward out traditional late summer afternoon of thundershowers and I am in love with the day. August is my birth month and it is special to me not only because it is my father's birth month, too, but August is the time for hummingbirds sipping at the feeders, the change of light that turns into liquid gold in the afternoon, and the spectacular tapestry of mixed sun and clouds.

This summer has been my first taste of freedom in seven years. The fact that Liberty can now swim on his own, and that we have something we can share together that is beneficial to both of us is a miracle. I have gotten much needed exercise. He has developed muscle tone and confidence. I can't remember the last time I spent so much time in a pool - maybe not since I was a child myself. It's been so much fun.

There has been an unexpected and welcome benefit as well: Lib is starting to say words. Even two-word phrases slip out now and again. The other day, after a long day with my family, I told him we were going to pack up and go. He said, "Well, good!"

We are starting chelation soon. I know I have said it before, but we had to start over again. The diet- cleaner. The bowels - moving. The supplements - tweaked. All food cooked from scratch. Exhausting, but moving ever toward better health and Lib's current state I feel is testament to all of the hard work we have done. Now, the metals we will address soon and see what happens.

In the meantime, my dear friend Michelle, sent me this wonderful article today that has inspired new hope in me. It is written by Wendy Fournier, president of the National Autism Association. Her daughter Aly has been non-verbal since her vaccinations. But...she began speaking at the age of nine! There is a video you can watch of Aly verbally identifying all of the letters of the alphabet.

You can read about Aly and watch it over here.

Hope. It's what I'm all about these days.

Here is a link to a blog of a photographer who takes the most stunning pictures of our area that I have ever seen. She also volunteers to help our sea turtles nest and help the hatchlings safely to the sea. Check our Barrier Island Girl for some beautiful pictures.



And, here's my beautiful boy taking his first bubble bath. We ran out of regular bubbles that I sometimes blow when he takes a bath. Spying the empty bottle, he went and got a lavender scented bath and shower gel of mine, looked at me and then at the bath and got in. I had no idea that he knew it would make bubbles. Smart kid. He is so "in there."