'Tis the Season to Lose Your Mind

Will someone please tell me, what in God's name we have come to? A Wal-mart employee trampled to death by shoppers? It's enough to make me want to cancel Christmas this year.

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Here ya go, Barb!

Stem Cells

I was sent this video by another autism mom. I have never watched the show, The Doctors, but on this show is a little boy who had cerebral palsy. He participated in a stem cell transplant research study, and he has recovered.

We banked Liberty's cord blood at birth and pay $50 a year for storage. You may have seen the cord blood kits which are very popular to give at a baby shower now.

It used to be that you could not find a doctor to use the stem cells unless you went to Costa Rica. Even Dr. Bock was impressed that we had the cells, though he said we would have to wait for technology to catch up.

Perhaps technology is catching up faster than we thought. I have no idea about the red tape involved, but I am sure there has been plenty. But, now, with a new president and new research, we might be able to use Lib's cord blood by participating in a study.

Who knows what the implications are for neurological injury with the use of stem cells? I'm sure you remember the late Christopher Reeve who advocated stem cell study, along with Michael J. Fox.

Here's the video. I thought it was exciting enough to share here on the blog.

Woof, Woof!

Click on over to my good blogger friend, Michelle's blog today. She and her husband are in the process of obtaining a service dog for their darling daughter, Riley. Service dogs do not come cheaply, as they undergo a training process to meet the specific needs of the child they are going to serve. Apparently, these pups have done wonders for many children, helping them get along in their daily lives, to feel safe and develop confidence. These dogs can anticipate meltdowns and tantrums, too. They exert a calming influence on children who have difficulty regulating their senses.

Michelle has a story of a little boy and his service dog on her site today. These animals are angels, in my opinion, given the support and love they provide our children. We are looking for a doggie ourselves, although not a service dog, but a dog to encourage speech in my own child.

Fundraising is in process to obtain their dog and begin getting him or her trained. Please give from your hearts and help, if you can, to speed a puppy to sweet Riley!

Thanks.

Reciprocity, Blessings, and Christmas

Lib came home the other day and suddenly went for my feet, grabbing at them. He knocked me on the bed and I thought there was something about my socks he didn't like. (Certain textures even on someone else can really bug him). But, then I realized...he was tickling me! So, I tickled his feet and he tickled mine. He was participating in a tickle game with me!

Sure enough, I got a note from the teacher that day that said Lib enjoyed lots of hugs and tickling in school. Do you love this woman as much as I do?

This is a big deal as anyone with a child with autism knows. Reciprocal play is one of the coveted goals in school and in therapy.

As if that wasn't enough to send me into spasms of happiness, Lib's teacher said he actually participated in a game the other day. Something called Puppy Racers. An actual game.

Then, in adaptive PE, he started mimicking the stretches the teacher was leading them in. I have never in my life seen him do this. Lib's teacher said she attended adaptive PE that day and watched him learn to jump with both feet on a fulcrum that had a bunch of bean bags on the other end, and apparently, he was delighted when he watched the bags fly off the other end. Even when he jumps on the bed, his feet are not in tandem.

Later, at home, I watched him fly around the house and try to jump with both feet and giggle. The PE teacher said she had never seen Lib participate like he did that day.

This is the feedback you live for.

You know, watching Liberty these days is like watching a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis. Or maybe it's more like The Invisible Man becoming visible. First a finger, then a hand. I remember when he could not not jump, could not even run, and would not hold onto a swing. It was is if he wasn't fully present, one foot in two different worlds.

Now, I'm enjoying great eye contact every day. I see him glance over his shoulder at me furl his eyebrows, trying to catch what I just said. He searches my face for meaning now.

This is real progress for my boy. Still, I have to guard myself right now from comparing him too much to neurotypical children.

All over the television right now are advertisements of "the perfect Christmas" where tiny children are recording their voices saying "Merry Christmas" to grandparents. It always gets to me. I look at the child to see if I can guess how old he or she is and what it would have been like if things had been different - if Lib had been talking at that age.

I was in Wal-mart (unfortunately) today and Lib wanted to walk down the toy aisle. There was a child, probably 3 or 4 years old, happily conversing with his mother, saying "I have to have this for Christmas, Mommy." And she would ask him the names of the toys and he would respond. I feel my heart start to sink when this happens. If I allow myself to go there, I will fall into a funk.

I must keep my eyes on the positive. Is the glass half full or half empty? Do I have reason to hope or is all lost? Can it always be worse? Is today all we have to appreciate everything? This is the dialogue I begin when my Emotional Self climbs up onto the ledge again, trembling.

Yes, I am happy that my son is doing so well and he's so healthy.

But, for me, 'tis the Season of Talking to Myself - a lot.

Wash Your Hands, I'm Begging You!

Did you know this could happen?

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

I can tell that winter is really here in my neck of the woods when our banana trees turn brown. One day green, next day rusty brown.

We had a real cold snap last week and even though I covered up my tomatoes that were just flourishing last week, all green and gorgeous, they all died. I picked the last of the green tomatoes this morning. Hope I'll want lots of fried green tomatoes for breakfast.

This morning, I was lopping off the dead heads of my long-running zinnias and tiny marigolds and putting the seeds in a bag for next year. They had just been sporting gorgeous purple, orange and yellow blossoms the day before.

Last night, I eagerly watched Life on Mars. A cliffhanger. Then I heard the announcer say, "Tune in January 28th for more Life on Mars....."

January. 28. th.

Can you believe this? I finally find a show I'm addicted to and then...they're putting on Lost or something like that for the holidays. Does this make sense?

Here today, gone tomorrow.

I bought a lot of my Thanksgiving Day dinner ingredients to prepare for a huge meal that will be gobbled down in one day next week.

And, Liberty is off for a whole week next week as soon as he gets off the bus.

A. Whole. Week.

Freedom today, freedom gone all next week! Then it's three weeks of school and two weeks off for Christmas break.

AAggHH.

Yep, it's winter all right. It comes in overnight on the Gulf Coast.

Oh---see this? Edy's Limited Edition Peppermint Ice Cream?

It IS here today but it will definitely be gone tomorrow!! I assure you.

You Gotta Have Faith

Amazing video on Oprah of Faith, the dog who walks on two legs!

Don't Touch That Dial

This morning Liberty climbed into bed with me. I got up to make coffee and the alarm went off before I got back to the bedroom. The "alarm" is just the radio coming on. I walked in and went to turn it off, lest my son have an irritability meltdown from the noise, even though it was turned down low. A little hand grabbed my wrist and stopped me in mid-action. He looked at me with wonder as if to say, "Momma, someone's talking to me!" He laid there and listened to a morning show and music. No meltdowns, no covering of ears. Just happy, lying back in bed listening. He bounded happily off to school this morning.

Ya just never know.

The Bucket List

Did anybody see this? I never go to the movies anymore, and I did not rush to rent it. I thought it would be too "cutesie" and predictable. Then I saw that Rob Reiner directed it and I rented. Lib took an early nap yesterday and we got a chance to see this movie. It was much more than I thought it would be. Very enjoyable. What a great team these two are. Loved the message, too.

Read Kiddo Read

Here is a new site created by author, James Patterson, to get children interested in reading. Even though my own son is not reading, I come from a family of avid readers and began reading at a young age. I enjoyed it because my family and school provided some great books to get me hooked. My library card was and still is one of my most prized possessions.

Patterson's site is called Read Kiddo Read. The recommended books are divided by age group and give a synopsis and show a picture of each book. It looks like a wonderful resource, so I am sharing it here on my blog.

I am currently reading Edgar Sawtelle, trying to catch up with the rest of the world who has read it and told me how fabulous it is. I am reading at a snail's pace these days, though, with so much to do each day, I just fall into bed each night.

I'm in Love with Sam Tyler

This is my new favorite show. I have not had a show on prime time tv that I have raced to watch every week in years.

Imagine how much the world has changed since 1973...no cell phones, no DNA testing, no internet or computers...it's fascinating. And the music from the seventies, well, let's just say without telling my age I can relate with many happy memories.

Ray Carling of Sopranos fame is fabulous.

And Harvey Keitel...you've gotta love Harvey and his "Harveyisms."


Okay, there's more, I can't help it! More about 1973.

Veterans Day

My father, who, today is 91 years young, is standing at the end of the line on the right in front of his plane he flew during World War II. He is a HERO to us, having experienced many harrowing missions during the war, including his plane almost being shot down, and landing safely on only two engines. My dad was an excellent pilot and he is just a wonderful human being and father. As a child, I used to hang on his every word as he told about his experiences during World War II. Okay, I still do! It was a time that none of us my age and younger can really imagine. We need to keep these stories alive.

This very plane in the picture above is now housed at the March Field Museum in California, completely restored. I recorded my father talking about his missions in this plane and they actually have a button you can push in the museum with my father's voice explaining and talking about his time in the military! How awesome is that?

Here is a piece that my wonderful sister/writer published for a tribute to Veterans Day in honor of all veterans, and especially, our veteran father. Please check out Susan's blog today. The picture on the blog of the planes in the air was taken from my father's airplane long ago during a mission.

And, it's only fitting that you read the introduction to my incredibly talented sister's memoir in progress about my own family's experience with the military lifestyle.

The Return of Nemo

You've heard me talk about this before and from the comments I have received, apparently many of you agree, that there is something magical or mystical about the movie, Finding Nemo. Each time my son wants to watch it, which is rarely, it signals some sort of cognitive leap.

Sunday, around 4 AM, I am awakened by a little hand and something square poking me in the ribs. Liberty stands there talking in non-stop gibberish and he's holding a DVD in his hand. He is up, raring to go, and wants to watch Finding Nemo. Even though I'm still in a slumbery fog, something in the back of my mind tells me that this day will be different.

And it was.

Yesterday, Liberty was the most engaged he has ever been. His eye contact, his demeanor, his understanding was really different - better. He had chili and chips for lunch and as he ate his chips, he said, "Chip, chip, chip..."

His pronunciation of "Daddy" is now very clear. Daddy does lots of rough and tumble play with him and lots of jumping. Liberty follows him around, not wanting to let him out of his sight when he is home. Libby is signing jump regularly at home and even at school now.

My sister came over and gave him lots of horsie back rides and he stuck to her like glue. He told her to "get up," at one point. (Aunt Susan, get up and give me a ride! I hope she can walk today). They went to swing on the swing set and Liberty sat her down in the swing and tried to push her. Reciprocal play? Wow. A first!

As usual, I'm never sure why these changes occur suddenly, though I'd love to know. I'd give anything to have that magic formula to keep it all going forward, but obviously it is out of my power. I'm just the support, the cheerleader, the advocate, and The Giver of Supplements.

I will tell you that, we changed the formula for the methyl-B12 shots and find it to be better. He's not out of it afterwards like before. So perhaps he is methylating better.

Also, I have really worked on his diet adding in fresh juices, especially spinach and pear. But, yesterday, I added cilantro to the juice. I was out of pear and I juiced a pretty good amount of spinach and cilantro and added a little apple to sweeten it. He loved it. I also added cilantro to the chili, just fresh, not cooked so it would not lose it's punch. Cilantro has been shown to remove mercury from the body.

I just found a recipe for a "detox pesto" that incorporates cilantro and brazil nuts. Brazil nuts are the highest in selenium which removes mercury. I'm still working on that one, gathering ingredients. I will let you know what I come up with.

I have also begun using only Xylitol to sweeten things and the milk I use now is Hemp Milk. I make a pretty good chocolate pudding that is sugar-free and packed with calcium and protein from the hemp milk which is made from hemp nuts. It's a creamier milk that rice or almond and it has a lot of Omega fatty acids in it. I also am making graham crackers and animal crackers using only Agave syrup as a sweetener which has a very low glycemic index. If you haven't tried Agave syrup, you're missing out. It is a lovely syrup that comes from a cactus. It has a mildly sweet flavor and it comes in light or dark (amber) forms. I am doing all of this to help keep yeast down. And I doubled up on the probiotic, NuFerm, probably my favorite supplement next to cod liver oil.

Libby did not crash last night until around 7:30 PM which is unusual to have such a long day with no nap. It was such a great day for him and long overdue. He was just a happy little boy all day long.

I have a small figurine of Nemo that is going up on my alter today. I think he deserves an exalted place right next to Quan Yin.

Yes We Did!

A new day dawns. I am so proud.

V O T E for positive change today

An "Aha" Moment

Some of you are familiar with Byron Katie, the originator of what she calls "The Work," which is four questions you ask yourself in order to turn a problem around. She says we are only reacting to our thoughts about reality and not reality itself. Anyway, there is a certain process you go through to arrive at a place of serenity with the problem.

Listen as this father brings his problem to her table: "I am angry at God because I have a special needs son." The turnaround for me was immediate.

By the way, the father is reading off a list he wrote of things he feels angry about, and then Byron steps in and questions him until he can "turn it around." You can hear the relief in his voice.

MP3 download here >>

I find this oddly comforting...

Quan Yin, The Goddess of Compassion, found among Lib's toys in his room. He loves her and is always swiping her from my alter.

You can read about her here, but I found this line about her particularly moving: "Quan Yin is a shortened form of a name that means One Who Sees and Hears the Cry from the Human World. Her Chinese title signifies, "She who always observes or pays attention to sounds," i.e., she who hears prayers..."

Oh Yes, very comforting indeed.

Who Knew?

Remember the lovely woman who was Liberty's teacher at camp? I found out on Saturday that she is married to Chief White Antelope. We went to a festival this weekend and there she was decked out in full regalia. She never mentioned it.




http://www.firstnationsintertribal.com/about.html

Aftermath

Lib had a great Halloween. He wore a long Dracula cape. He laughed and he only covered his ears occasionally. We took him trick or treating and he held his bag out for candy, though he doesn't really get excited about that because he doesn't eat candy. He was more interested in ringing the bell and looking in people's houses and sometimes trying to push past them to take a look. He really had fun, though, and that makes me feel great. He was very social, gave great eye contact, and skipped and laughed to himself all night about it all, long after we had called it a night.

Our neighbors had the usual graveyard and fog and I supplied the entire neighborhood with a CD I made of soundtracks from Alfred Hitchcock and Twilight Zone replete with spooky sounds like witch's cackles, tolling bells and rattling chains. By 9:00, we'd had enough though. The funniest thing was that I had bought large glow-in-the-dark tarantulas for my spider's web I strung over the porch, but I was afraid to touch them! In fact, they scared me so much, I had to use salad tongs to put them in the web! I really freaked my own self out.

To say I have a tootsie roll hangover is an understatement. I never want to see a piece of sugar again until the Christmas fudge.

I think Liberty is going through a phase and he is progressing through milestones. If I look at my super tall six-year-old child as a six-year-old, I see how behind he is. If I look at him as a 3 1/2 year old though, he is appropriate. And, he said some words this weekend.

Yesterday we were at a festival in the park selling my husband's t-shirts he makes and I took him to the swings and he said, "get down" when he wanted off the swing. He has mimicked some things I have done, too. He has this gibberish going non-stop and words seem to pop through. All very encouraging!

Well, the calendar is already marked up with all of the days Lib has off from school. The holidays are in full swing now, there is no turning back. I made the mistake of going to Walmart today and heard Karen Carpenter's voice over the radio blasting out "chestnuts roasting on an open fire..." as I made my way through the metallic pink and blue Christmas trees on display. They waste no time. When I was a kid, we really got into Thanksgiving. I don't remember seeing so much Christmas stuff until right before the Thanksgiving Holiday. We had to have our Macy's day parade and stuff ourselves silly with turkey and watch football. Only then did we turn our attention to Christmas.

Now it seems we rush right past it. No time for gratitude, let's sell some stuff!

I'm resting in my little cozy safe space for awhile replenishing my energy for the holidays, and I don't want to hear how many more days until Christmas! Sheesh.