Time to get back to the dailies. After all of the hoopla and excitement around Jenny McCarthy's debut on Oprah, I need a little calm. I've been telling everyone about her. I even had a woman come up to me in the grocery aisle (where we were discussing the new Betty Crocker Warm Delights, Thank You God for these) and she brought up Oprah. Turns out she has a grandson with autism. Then another woman came down the aisle and began discussing her nephew. Pretty soon we were discussing not only vaccines but the pollution that is rampant in these parts. Living in Florida, we are notorious for companies polluting our waterways, not to mention air, with the lovely mercury-containing smoke that comes from the coal-powered power plants. All of that talk rattled me and made me want to pack up and move immediately. I need to find a "Green City" and one that has awesome teachers and therapists. Guess I better begin that quest now.
Anyway, I also began Jenny's book last night, and you know it's well-written, but it's always hard to read another mom's story and feel her pain. I just cry and cry. It's the pain of not being heard, or your baby being sick and doctors who just don't know what to do or who are callous and unfeeling, and, well, just plain ignorant about autism. Anyway, it's good to read and I wanted to read it, but, like all stories I read about other mom's struggles with autism, it brings the early days all back and puts me in a place where I get anxious over my son's recovery.
So, I have to put myself back in a place of positivity and look at all of the good things we have done for him, the progress he has made, and put myself back in the now where everything takes place, instead of fearing the future and crying over the past and what I should have seen and done.
I'm back to reading the teacher's notes, packing my son's lunch, giving him supplements, putting him on the bus with a smile, and thanking God that, for today, he's doing well.
Only two more weeks until we have our follow-up phone appointment with Dr. Bock and get the results of all of the tests we worked so hard to get. I can't wait for that!
And, the new season starts on TV: Dancing With the Stars (yes, I love it - my guilty pleasure), and the debut of Dirty, Sexy Money with my favorite Peter Kraus from Six Feet Under. It's also autumn and time to lose myself in some good books. I need Pat Conroy to get busy and publish his new book or I might just have to get Beach Music out and read it again. Also, Sue Monk Kidd (Secret of Life of Bees). These are two of my favorite authors. I'm always looking for a good read, so if anybody has a good book they've read, please share!
It's these little things that turn out to be the big things, the things that matter: Hummingbirds chasing each other, the goldfish in our old pond, dragonflies in blue and green, spiders spinning webs, mums blooming in my garden and the leaves turning colors. Yep, even on the Gulf Coast, we have a nice fall and it is always so welcome after the intense heat and humidity of the long, hot summer. Add in some good movies, good books and great food cooking on the stove, and I am truly in heaven.
My daily gratitude list and the above are the things that help me cope with hard times and bring me great comfort.
Anyway, I also began Jenny's book last night, and you know it's well-written, but it's always hard to read another mom's story and feel her pain. I just cry and cry. It's the pain of not being heard, or your baby being sick and doctors who just don't know what to do or who are callous and unfeeling, and, well, just plain ignorant about autism. Anyway, it's good to read and I wanted to read it, but, like all stories I read about other mom's struggles with autism, it brings the early days all back and puts me in a place where I get anxious over my son's recovery.
So, I have to put myself back in a place of positivity and look at all of the good things we have done for him, the progress he has made, and put myself back in the now where everything takes place, instead of fearing the future and crying over the past and what I should have seen and done.
I'm back to reading the teacher's notes, packing my son's lunch, giving him supplements, putting him on the bus with a smile, and thanking God that, for today, he's doing well.
Only two more weeks until we have our follow-up phone appointment with Dr. Bock and get the results of all of the tests we worked so hard to get. I can't wait for that!
And, the new season starts on TV: Dancing With the Stars (yes, I love it - my guilty pleasure), and the debut of Dirty, Sexy Money with my favorite Peter Kraus from Six Feet Under. It's also autumn and time to lose myself in some good books. I need Pat Conroy to get busy and publish his new book or I might just have to get Beach Music out and read it again. Also, Sue Monk Kidd (Secret of Life of Bees). These are two of my favorite authors. I'm always looking for a good read, so if anybody has a good book they've read, please share!
It's these little things that turn out to be the big things, the things that matter: Hummingbirds chasing each other, the goldfish in our old pond, dragonflies in blue and green, spiders spinning webs, mums blooming in my garden and the leaves turning colors. Yep, even on the Gulf Coast, we have a nice fall and it is always so welcome after the intense heat and humidity of the long, hot summer. Add in some good movies, good books and great food cooking on the stove, and I am truly in heaven.
My daily gratitude list and the above are the things that help me cope with hard times and bring me great comfort.
What's yours?
9 comments:
Yes those early years are hard arnt they.
But you soon get into the swing of it.
And its all so worth it!
Dear Kathy,
There is so much wisdom in your words. You HAVE done so much and I am hopeful that Dr. Bock can add to Liberty's recovery significantly. I know you have been so happy with Liberty's current classroom and the teachers who are devoted to him.
Pollution from coal plants, paper plants, and just run off from everybody's lawn fertilizers all add up to a toxic soup. More and more communities everywhere are waking up to the reality that our environment is saturated with chemicals.
We do what we can to change that. In the meantime, as you well know and practice, taking care with the food we eat, grow perhaps, and keeping the immune system strong, are all important.
You are blessed with a new governor who is pushing the green envelope in your state. We have a good one in AZ as well. I think you can stay on the sparkling coast and get what you need there.
So I wish I were there to taste what you are concocting in your kitchen today! You are a wonderful chef!
Suz
Tucson, AZ
I know just what you mean about reading books like that, that's why I hesitate to even put all that in my memoir, "regular moms" aren't going to be interested, and "special moms" are going to be triggered!
BTW, don't move to Portland, Oregon, I just read we have one of the highest Autism rates in the country! 1 in 98, versus 1 in 150. Must be doing lots of things "wrong" around here.
I have not bought her book for the same reasons. I don't want to "go back there."
We have two points of power, right? Where we are and where we want to be.
: )
Good luck with your appt. with Dr. Bock.
I'm glad to know that I am not the only one having a hard time reading about similar experiences. That has to be a tough call for a memoir though - after all it's your part of what you're writing about.
Thanks for the reminder Michelle, I need them frequently.
Carrie, that is pretty scary about Portland. I need to find out what the statistics are here in our county. When we first started out with therapy, our OT told us that the autism rate was one of the highest anywhere, in our particular area. That was three years ago. I'm not sure where she got her information. It's such an epidemic, though, it really is probably just the general state of affair for the globe. I heard the stats are massively higher in England in the UK, too.
It's true, we do have a much better governor, Susan. We may be able to stay here.
It's just the @$%^&! hurricanes to consider, as well.
Plus, those hills, they are calling to me.
Funny about how it's hard to read about things that hit TOO close to home...I can't read miscarriage stories for that very reason! Yet. One day I hope to and I'm sure I'll find comfort when I do, but it's too raw now.
Jenny, when I got pregnant again after a miscarriage, I read every book in the series, At Home in Mitford by Jan Karon. I think there were like 6 or 7. It kept my mind where it needed to be, on things that made me feel good. I avoided people who could make unfeeling comments, too.
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