Our doctor and his nurse are not in their offices today. I called and let another nurse know about the experience we had with the charcoal and the Diflucan. She seemed to be rather shocked by it, but anyway, for now, we are resting.
My little son spent the entire day yesterday resting, only to get up around 4:00 PM, eat a little food, prance and skip to some music I was playing, and then promptly put himself back to bed at 6:00 PM. Does this tell you anything about how tired and wasted his little body must feel? I just feel terrible about this - even though I was just following directions, what did I do to my boy? It think it could have turned out worse than it did and that scares me to death.
Where was my intuition? I asked the nurse on Wednesday if the charcoal was constipating and she told me no, and also told me that the charcoal can't hurt him. I now beg to differ. I am really curious to hear what Dr. Bock has to say.
Meanwhile, there is a big part of me that wants to just stop all of this. I feel like my son is a guinea pig in an experiment, and, of course, the reality is, he is. If I had had to take him to the emergency room here this weekend, the mainstream doctors would not have understood at all what we were trying to do.
My sister says it's like I'm trying to practice medicine without a license, in the sense that there is no one here to observe my son and guide the progress, oversee the protocol. All I have are anectodal stories and a loose guideline for what to do and what to expect. In the light of wanting to recover my son biomedically, all of that seemed okay, until I saw how badly my son was hurting. It reminds me of when I took him to get his shots, especially the MMR. I didn't know what I was doing on that fateful day and now I can't take it back. I remember the hesitation, how I drug my feet, not wanting to take him in. I just blindly pushed forward because my doctor told me to.
In this recent situation, I think that if I've learned anything, I have learned to start out giving gradual doses of medicine to Liberty to see how he reacts first. The doctor did not tell me to do this, but so many other moms who are trying the antifungals are telling me they started at a reduced dose. This stuff costs $86 a bottle and it only is good for two weeks.
The Universe is telling me to slow down and be careful and gentle. If I decide to start this up again, it will be in a dramatically different way, and I will insist upon it...or change to some other alternatives like olive leaf extract.
But for now, we rest.
1 comment:
Don't be too tough on yourself, time will tell if it was a first step or a first misstep. Either way, brush yourself off. You can't do any worse than the doctor that gave Lib the MMR or the doctor that prscribed charcoal, who by the way, are practicing Medicine WITH a license. (Lotta good that does)
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